‘Protect The Coven’
There’s only a couple of episodes left in this run of American Horror Story and I must admit it’s the first season that I’ve really wanted to continue. The characterisation in this series has been great and I’m not ready to leave the Coven just yet.
They are tying up lose ends though. Delphine and Queenie make a come back at the start of this episode for Nan’s funeral, and whilst Fiona and Marie find it difficult to fake sadness at the graveside of their victim, Queenie turns up with Delphine on a lead like a dog. So it’s back to the academy for the two of them with Queenie clearing out Misty’s things and reclaiming her room and Delphine back to a life of servitude.
Between clearing up sexy threesome sheets, cleaning up human waste and serving the every whim of Marie and Fiona, Delphine’s not getting the job satisfaction she craves and, after a gardener injures himself, she takes his injury upon herself to heal. Well not heal, she takes him to the attic and does what she does best, torture the poor man, while singing “This Little Piggy,” as she takes off his toes. This character has done a full 360 after we thought we witnessed her changing and becoming empathetic to the pain of others but she’s now back in an attic carving someone up purely for her pleasure; there’s no saving Delphine, she’s just pure evil.
After she’s finished torturing the gardener, Spalding appears and offers her a deal that turns out to be his own crafty way to add to his creepy baby doll collection. He’ll give her something that will make Marie mortal again, tablets that turn out to be antihistamines.
Before she gets a chance to make a fool of herself with the tablets, Fiona and Marie are off to the witch hunter head quarters where the Axeman assists them with the disposing of that particular problem and the pair head back to the academy to enjoy a couple of champagne cocktails that Delphine has spiked with antihistamines. Believing Marie to be mortal she plunges a knife into her chest while she’s in bed, though it backfires and Spaulding ends up pushing her down the stairs and knocking her out. Will she be buried and left to the fate she forced upon Delphine?
Elsewhere in the academy Cordelia has decided to scoop out her own eyes to regain her magic ‘sight’, Zoe and Kyle are planning on escaping the coven and Myrtle is coming out with some amazing one liners once again. Not only does she describe figs as “…mother natures brown diamonds. In the fall, the rotting leaves smell like an Olympians ejaculate”, she also tells what can only be described as a fabulous story about her first ever love affair with a ‘von Furstenberg’, as in Diane von Furstenberg. Cue one of Myrtle’s best lines of the series: “She gave us the greatest invention of the 20th century, the wrap dress!”
This wasn’t the best episode and ends pretty abruptly but I suspect next week’s will be once again full throttle.