They say all art teaches us something. So after an intensive weekend of film-going at the O2, what has the finest from independent US cinema got to impart to us? Here are the top 5 lessons to heed for those that missed out.
1. Keyboard is now the instrument to avoid
There was a time when it was best to avoid the drum kit. Ask Spinal Tap and their combustible drummers. Now, as Frank makes abundantly clear, the keyboardist faces the greatest risk. It’s either a role for the mentally unstable or the talentless in Domhnall Gleeson’s case. Think twice before taking up lessons.
2. Be very wary of cats…
They often come across on film as sinister creatures and that’s before they can speak. Imagine one that could chat away to you. In The Voices, Ryan Reynolds’ cat Mr Whiskers develops a deep Scottish brogue. Crude and malicious Mr Whiskers spends his evenings abusing his owner while goading him into less than legal behaviour. Just stick with a goldfish next time.
3. …and picturesque guest houses
If you’re going to try and patch up your marriage, why not do it in a venue that looks like it fell straight out of a high class holiday brochure. At least that’s certainly how it must have seemed for troubled couple Elisabeth Moss and Mark Duplass in The One I Love. The main house is a nice enough place but it’s probably best to stay clear of the guest house where some seriously weird stuff goes down. Bear that in mind next time you fancy a luxury getaway.
4. Keep hold of your car keys
When committing crimes it’s always good to have a clear exit strategy. In Blue Ruin, Macon Blair’s disturbed vagrant gets a little caught up in the moment and misplaces the car keys that would have seen him comfortably to safety. The moral of the tale: violence is ok, carelessness is not.
5. Do your research thoroughly before embarking on a treasure hunt
While there are plenty of tales of legendary excess on film sets, it usually makes sense to conserve cash. It’s therefore highly unlikely that when Steve Buscemi is seen burying a suitcase of cash in the snow in Fargo, he actually leaves real money there for all to find. Unfortunately, in Kumiko, the Treasure Hunter, this fairly important fact escapes Kumiko who sets off to Minnesota to discover the fictional riches. Note to the studio – include a disclaimer next time.